Step 1 – Structure
The Father of the Bride can be said to be the warm-up man for the two main acts: the Groom and, of course, the Best Man. In most cases, he is usually also the host and it is, therefore, the first part of his speech will be aimed at making the guests feel welcome. Especial emphasis is normally placed on welcoming the Groom's parents and family and also thanking them for their contribution in making the wedding day happen.

A nice thing to do, although not appropriate in every case, is to have a toast, early in the speech, to absent friends. This can include loved ones who have passed on recently and also those whose were simply unable to attend.

The next part of the speech should be about the Bride and can include amusing anecdotes about her childhood and a description of how she met the Groom.

This can be followed by the tale of how the Bride introduced the Groom to her parents and, if the Groom is the traditional sort, how he went about asking for her "hand in marriage".

The final part of the speech can be where the Father of the Bride bestows his blessing on the marriage and offers words of advice for future happiness. The last act of the speech should be to propose a toast to the Bride and Groom.

Step 2 – Developing the speech
It is important to get your ideas written down as early as possible. When I was developing the speech for my daughter's wedding, I found that, if nothing else, getting my ideas onto paper helped me sleep a bit better!

The internet can be of great help in researching ideas for the structure and content of the speech. There are numerous websites where people post the full text of their own speeches. Not surprisingly, though, many of these speeches are very similar.

Decide how long the speech should be and, once you've got the bones of it written, try saying it out loud. Time how long it takes and then add or remove bits until it's the right length. It's likely that the speech will take longer on the day, as there will be interaction with the audience and members of the wedding party.

If you don't want to memorise the speech, write it onto postcards, maybe one for each of the sections given above. Prompt cards can be useful even if you think you have memorised it!

Step 3 – Giving the speech
There's some debate as to whether or not any alcohol should be taken prior to giving the speech. Most men, by the time they get to "father of the bride" age know how they react to drink and should be able to decide if it's safe to have a glass of wine or two prior to giving their speech. It's worth bearing in mind, however, that the day of your daughter's wedding can be emotional and the effects of alcohol consequently heightened.

The most important thing is to speak from the heart. It doesn't matter if you make a mistake or stumble over your words. You are talking to a group of friends and family and they are all willing you to do well. They want to hear what you have to say and will be interested to hear stories about the Bride and Groom,

Above all, enjoy the occasion and don't let the speech become the most important part of your day.